It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
