Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The struggles of a small town man whore
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
