You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
