Jerry, you need to find god
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
