I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
