I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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