I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
