Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
