You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
