So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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