This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
