It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
