when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
