Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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