You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
