Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
