Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
