and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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