is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
