I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
