I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
