It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
