My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
