Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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