just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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