I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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