Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
