If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
