Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
