you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
