god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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