it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Two words: nipple clamps
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