I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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