I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
