can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
