Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
