Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm passing your future prison.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
