Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
