I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
