glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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