Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
