paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
