Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize