I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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