please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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