So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
