it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I am available for nakedness
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
