There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
