I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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