Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
