i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
